It’s the off-season so we here at ESKS.com decided to take a break from lovingly looking at the Grey Cup trophy to break out the crystal ball to see what the stars have to say.
Some will be thrilled. Others less so. Since we pretty much made it all up, try not to take it too seriously.
AQUARIUS
January 20 – February 18
It’s about to be your birthday. Best wishes from all of us at the Green and Gold. #TurnUp #Responsibly
PISCES
February 19 – March 20
It’s Monday (assuming you are reading this on Monday). Gear up for a great week ahead. If it’s not Monday, re-read this on January 25 for good luck.
ARIES
March 21 – April 20
You’ll ponder deep questions this week like “Why does Norm Kelly seem to dislike Meek Mill?” or maybe “Who is Norm Kelly and Meek Mill?”
TAURUS
April 21- – May 21
If you haven’t learned how to Dab by now, try to tuck and roll instead — Esks-celebration style.
GEMINI
May 22 – June 21
This week is all about you loyal Eskimos fans. Stop in front of a mirror on Thursday. Admire your glory. You the real MVP.
CANCER
June 22 – July 23
With several months to go before training camp opens, the struggle is real this week. We wish we had better news for you. #IsItJuneYet?
LEO
July 24 – August 23
When life gets you down, spike the nearest football and break into a wicked air guitar solo. When you feel better, tweet us the video @EdmontonEsks.
VIRGO
August 24 – September 23
There may be a few bumps and bruises in your immediate future. It will be worth it if you’re getting ready for next month’s Eskimos Cheer Team tryouts.
LIBRA
September 24 – October 23
Your word for the week is hydrate. It could be much needed following your weekend shenanigans. #NoJudgement.
SCORPIO
October 24 – November 22
It’s time to make your better half a candlelit pasta dinner. If you plan to add sauce, skip the demo of your one-handed marinara catch.
SAGITTARIUS
November 23 – December 22
Head into the garage this week with your friends to form a band, complete with EE cowbells and horns. You won’t get a Grammy but you may meet a friendly officer following up on a noise complaint.
CAPRICORN
December 23 – January 20
If you did not meet your soulmate last week, head to the nearest Booster Juice. The first Eskimos fan you meet there could be the one. If not, enjoy a Matcha Monsoon (it’s green so it must be tasty).